Raw JSON
{
"cleanup_version": "v3",
"cleanup_mode": "child_simplification",
"source_file": "story.json",
"source_v1_file": "story_v1.json",
"source_sha256": "036ab34236696cd0e1ce1270fa649b5c1a4a1192e7d3ef3c61ccbac860a31f19",
"source_v1_sha256": "6ba3839767290306df2131cffc2753fce969139c28108e74d6768968caab87b2",
"source_title": "Master Pfriem",
"tts_title": "Master Pfriem",
"speech_safe_title": "Master Pfriem",
"kind": "story",
"canonical_url": "https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~spok/grimmtmp/200.txt",
"slug": "master-pfriem",
"story_dirname": "200-master-pfriem",
"section_slug": null,
"title": "Master Pfriem",
"author": null,
"publisher_label": null,
"source_version": null,
"content_type": null,
"language": null,
"summary": null,
"clean_summary": null,
"body": [
"Master pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, of which his turned-up nose was the only prominent feature, was marked with smallpox and pale as death. His hair was gray and shaggy, his eyes small, but they glanced perpetually about on all sides. He saw everything, criticized everything, knew everything best, and was always in the right. When he went into the streets, he moved his arms about as if he were rowing, and once he struck the pail of a girl so high in the air that he himself was wetted all over by the water she was carrying. Idiot. Cried he to her, shaking himself, could you not see that I was coming behind you. By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into everyone who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour. If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on. There, they are using that red sand-stone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather-apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. What's this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong. He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what's that again, screamed he, haven't I told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly. Master, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily. Ah, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely. Did anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime. If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It's no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they won't leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That's quite right, thought pfriem, but two horses won't get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind. That was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience. To be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead."
],
"body_text": "Master pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, of which his turned-up nose was the only prominent feature, was marked with smallpox and pale as death. His hair was gray and shaggy, his eyes small, but they glanced perpetually about on all sides. He saw everything, criticized everything, knew everything best, and was always in the right. When he went into the streets, he moved his arms about as if he were rowing, and once he struck the pail of a girl so high in the air that he himself was wetted all over by the water she was carrying. Idiot. Cried he to her, shaking himself, could you not see that I was coming behind you. By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into everyone who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour. If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on. There, they are using that red sand-stone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather-apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. What's this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong. He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what's that again, screamed he, haven't I told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly. Master, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily. Ah, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely. Did anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime. If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It's no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they won't leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That's quite right, thought pfriem, but two horses won't get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind. That was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience. To be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead.",
"clean_body": [
"Master pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, of which his turned-up nose was the only prominent feature, was marked with smallpox and pale as death. His hair was gray and shaggy, his eyes small, but they glanced perpetually about on all sides. He saw everything, criticized everything, knew everything best, and was always in the right. When he went into the streets, he moved his arms about as if he were rowing, and once he struck the pail of a girl so high in the air that he himself was wetted all over by the water she was carrying. Idiot. Cried he to her, shaking himself, could you not see that I was coming behind you. By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into everyone who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour. If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on. There, they are using that red sand-stone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather-apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. What's this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong. He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what's that again, screamed he, haven't I told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly. Master, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily. Ah, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely. Did anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime. If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It's no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they won't leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That's quite right, thought pfriem, but two horses won't get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind. That was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience. To be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead."
],
"clean_text": "Master pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, of which his turned-up nose was the only prominent feature, was marked with smallpox and pale as death. His hair was gray and shaggy, his eyes small, but they glanced perpetually about on all sides. He saw everything, criticized everything, knew everything best, and was always in the right. When he went into the streets, he moved his arms about as if he were rowing, and once he struck the pail of a girl so high in the air that he himself was wetted all over by the water she was carrying. Idiot. Cried he to her, shaking himself, could you not see that I was coming behind you. By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into everyone who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour. If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on. There, they are using that red sand-stone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather-apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. What's this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong. He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what's that again, screamed he, haven't I told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly. Master, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily. Ah, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely. Did anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime. If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It's no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they won't leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That's quite right, thought pfriem, but two horses won't get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind. That was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience. To be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead.",
"tts_chunks": [
"Master pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, of which his turned-up nose was the only prominent feature, was marked with smallpox and pale as death. His hair was gray and shaggy, his eyes small, but they glanced perpetually about on all sides. He saw everything, criticized everything, knew everything best, and was always in the right. When he went into the streets, he moved his arms about as if he were rowing, and once he struck the pail of a girl so high in the air that he himself was wetted all over by the water she was carrying. Idiot. Cried he to her, shaking himself, could you not see that I was coming behind you.",
"By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into everyone who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour.",
"If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on.",
"There, they are using that red sand-stone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather-apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. What's this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong.",
"He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what's that again, screamed he, haven't I told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly.",
"Master, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily.",
"Ah, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely.",
"Did anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime.",
"If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It's no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they won't leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That's quite right, thought pfriem, but two horses won't get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind.",
"That was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience.",
"To be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead."
],
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"Master pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, of which his turned-up nose was the only prominent feature, was marked with smallpox and pale as death. His hair was gray and shaggy, his eyes small, but they glanced perpetually about on all sides. He saw everything, criticized everything, knew everything best, and was always in the right. When he went into the streets, he moved his arms about as if he were rowing, and once he struck the pail of a girl so high in the air that he himself was wetted all over by the water she was carrying. Idiot. Cried he to her, shaking himself, could you not see that I was coming behind you.",
"By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into everyone who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour.",
"If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on.",
"There, they are using that red sandstone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. what is this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong.",
"He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and Pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what is that again, screamed he, have I not told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly.",
"Master, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily.",
"Ah, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely.",
"Did anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime.",
"If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It is no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they will not leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That is quite right, thought Pfriem, but two horses will not get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind.",
"That was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience.",
"To be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead."
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At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour.\n\nIf his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on.\n\nThere, they are using that red sandstone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. what is this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong.\n\nHe snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and Pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what is that again, screamed he, have I not told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly.\n\nMaster, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily.\n\nAh, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely.\n\nDid anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime.\n\nIf it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It is no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they will not leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That is quite right, thought Pfriem, but two horses will not get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind.\n\nThat was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience.\n\nTo be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead.",
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"By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into everyone who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour.",
"If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on.",
"There, they are using that red sandstone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. what is this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong.",
"He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and Pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what is that again, screamed he, have I not told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly.",
"Master, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily.",
"Ah, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely.",
"Did anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime.",
"If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It is no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they will not leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That is quite right, thought Pfriem, but two horses will not get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind.",
"That was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience.",
"To be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead."
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"Master pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, of which his turned-up nose was the only prominent feature, was marked with smallpox and pale as death. His hair was gray and shaggy, his eyes small, but they glanced perpetually about on all sides. He saw everything, criticized everything, knew everything best, and was always in the right. When he went into the streets, he moved his arms about as if he were rowing, and once he struck the pail of a girl so high in the air that he himself was wetted all over by the water she was carrying. Idiot. Cried he to her, shaking himself, could you not see that I was coming behind you.",
"By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into everyone who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. Wait, said he to his apprentice, I will soon show you how we make skins soft. And he brought a strap and gave him a couple of lashes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour.",
"If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran barefooted into the kitchen, crying, will you burn my house down for me. That is a fire one could roast an ox by. Does wood cost nothing. If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other what they knew, he scolded them, and said, there stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip. And why fresh soap. Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain. They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly. And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurrried to the window to look on.",
"There, they are using that red sandstone again that never dries, cried he. No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it. He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather apron, and cried, I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences. He stumbled on the carpenters. what is this, cried he, you are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight - one wrong will put all wrong.",
"He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut, but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it, you are not in your right mind, said he, who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart. The poor beasts will die on the spot. The peasant did not give him an answer, and Pfriem in a rage ran back into his work-shop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. Well, what is that again, screamed he, have I not told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad. Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole. I insist on my orders being followed exactly.",
"Master, answered the apprentice, you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while ago, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that. One night master pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. I wonder, said he to himself, that they have no knocker on the door, one knocks one's knuckles sore. The apostle peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily.",
"Ah, it's you master pfriem, said he, well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill. You might have spared your warning, answered pfriem. I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth. So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which someone had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam lengthways, however, but obliquely.",
"Did anyone ever see such a piece of stupidity, thought master pfriem. But he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or athwart, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything. Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. Hang it, he exclaimed, but happily recollected himself, and thought, perhaps it is only a pastime.",
"If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind, especially here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about. He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. It is no wonder, said he to the man who stood by, who would load so unreasonably. What have you there. Good wishes, replied the man, I could not get on the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and here they will not leave me stuck. In fact an angel did come and harness two horses to it. That is quite right, thought Pfriem, but two horses will not get that cart out, it must at least have four to it. Another angel came and brought two more horses, she did not harness them in front of it, however, but behind.",
"That was too much for master pfriem, clumsy creature, he burst out, what are you doing there. Has anyone ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way. But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best. He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway master pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses. At this moment master pfriem awoke. Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth, said he to himself, and that excuses much, but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience.",
"To be sure they had wings but who could know that. It is, beside, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already. But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It is a lucky thing though, that I am not really dead."
],
"child_friendly_title": "Master Pfriem",
"child_friendly_body": [
"Master Pfriem was a short and thin man, but he was full of energy. He never stopped moving. His face was very pale, and he had a big, turned-up nose. His hair was gray and messy. His eyes were small, but he looked around everywhere. He saw everything and knew everything best. He was always right. When he walked down the street, he waved his arms like he was rowing a boat. One day, he hit a girl's pail so hard that water splashed all over him. \"You silly goose!\" he cried. He shook himself dry. \"Could you not see that I was coming behind you?",
"By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread so hard that he pushed his fist at anyone who got too close. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he always found something wrong with the best work. Sometimes he said the stitches were not even, or that one shoe was too long, or that one heel was higher than the other. \"Wait,\" he said to his apprentice. \"I will show you how we make the leather soft.\" He took a strap and gave him a few light taps on the back. He called everyone lazy. He himself did not make much work, for he never sat still for even a short time.",
"If his wife got up very early and lit the fire, he jumped out of bed. He ran barefoot into the kitchen, crying, \"Will you burn my house down for me? That is a big, hot fire! Does wood cost nothing?\"\n\nIf the servants were standing by their tubs and laughing, he scolded them. He said, \"Look at the geese cackling. They are forgetting their work to gossip. And why fresh soap? That is a waste of money. They just want to save their hands and not scrub properly.\"\n\nSo, he would run out and knock a bucket of soapy water over. The whole kitchen would get very wet. Someone was building a new house, so he hurried to the window to look.",
"There, they are using that red sandstone again that never dries,\" he cried. \"No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it.\"\n\nHe sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again. He unfastened his leather apron and cried, \"I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences.\" He stumbled on the carpenters. \"What is this?\" cried he. \"You are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight? One wrong will put all wrong.",
"He grabbed a big axe from a carpenter. He wanted to show the man how to chop wood. But then, a cart full of clay drove by. He threw the axe down and ran to the farmer walking beside it. \"You are not thinking straight,\" he said. \"Why are you making young horses pull such a heavy load? The poor animals will get hurt.\"\n\nThe farmer did not say a word. Pfriem was very angry. He ran back to his workshop. He started to work again. The apprentice brought him a shoe. \"What is this?\" he screamed. \"I told you not to make shoes so wide. Who would buy a shoe that is just a sole? I want you to follow my orders exactly.",
"Master,\" said the apprentice, \"you might be right about the shoe being a bad one. But you made it yourself, and you were the one who knocked it off the table. I just picked it up. An angel from heaven would never make you believe that.\n\nOne night, Master Pfriem dreamed he was dead and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. 'I wonder,' he said to himself, 'why they have no knocker on the door. One knocks one's knuckles sore.'\n\nThe Apostle Peter opened the door and wanted to see who was making such a loud noise.",
"Ah, it's you, Master Prick,\" said he. \"Well, I will let you in, but I warn you to stop finding fault with everything you see. If you don't, you might be very unhappy. You didn't need to warn me,\" answered Prick. \"I already know how to behave. Here, thank goodness, everything is perfect. There is nothing to complain about, just like there is down on earth.\" So he went inside and walked up and down the wide, bright spaces of heaven. He looked all around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes he shook his head or muttered to himself. Then he saw two angels carrying a heavy beam. It was the very beam that someone had had in his own eye while he was looking for a tiny splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam straight, but at an angle.",
"Did anyone ever see such a silly thing?\" thought Master Pfriem. But he stayed quiet and seemed happy with it. It really does not matter how they carry the beam, straight or sideways, as long as they get along and do not bump into anything. Soon after, he saw two angels drawing water from a well. But the bucket had holes in it, and the water was running out on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. \"Oh my!\" he exclaimed, but then he remembered himself. He thought, maybe they are just playing a game.",
"If they are just playing, then they can do silly things here in heaven. I have noticed that people do nothing but rest and relax. He walked a little farther and saw a cart stuck deep in a hole. It is no surprise, he said to the man standing there. Who would put so much weight on it? What do you have in the cart? Good wishes, the man replied. I could not get on the right path with them, but I have pushed them safely up here. Here, they will not leave me stuck. An angel did come and harnessed two horses to it. That is quite right, thought Pfriem, but two horses will not get that cart out. It needs at least four horses to pull it. Another angel came and brought two more horses. She did not put them in front, however. She put them behind.",
"That was too much for Master Pfriem. He burst out, \"What are you doing there?\" He asked, \"Has anyone ever seen a cart pulled like that?\" Then he said, \"You think you know everything best.\" He was going to say more, but a kind angel grabbed him by the throat. She pushed him out with a gentle, strong hand. Master Pfriem looked back at the cart. He saw four winged horses lifting it into the sky. At that moment, Master Pfriem woke up. He thought to himself, \"Things are certainly arranged in heaven differently than on earth. That explains a lot. But who can watch horses harnessed both behind and in front with patience?",
"I know they have wings, but who can really tell? Besides, it is silly to put wings on a horse that already has four legs to run with. But I must get up, or they will make mistakes in my house. It is a good thing, though, that I am not really gone."
],
"child_friendly_text": "Master Pfriem was a short and thin man, but he was full of energy. He never stopped moving. His face was very pale, and he had a big, turned-up nose. His hair was gray and messy. His eyes were small, but he looked around everywhere. He saw everything and knew everything best. He was always right. When he walked down the street, he waved his arms like he was rowing a boat. One day, he hit a girl's pail so hard that water splashed all over him. \"You silly goose!\" he cried. He shook himself dry. \"Could you not see that I was coming behind you?\n\nBy trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread so hard that he pushed his fist at anyone who got too close. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he always found something wrong with the best work. Sometimes he said the stitches were not even, or that one shoe was too long, or that one heel was higher than the other. \"Wait,\" he said to his apprentice. \"I will show you how we make the leather soft.\" He took a strap and gave him a few light taps on the back. He called everyone lazy. He himself did not make much work, for he never sat still for even a short time.\n\nIf his wife got up very early and lit the fire, he jumped out of bed. He ran barefoot into the kitchen, crying, \"Will you burn my house down for me? That is a big, hot fire! Does wood cost nothing?\"\n\nIf the servants were standing by their tubs and laughing, he scolded them. He said, \"Look at the geese cackling. They are forgetting their work to gossip. And why fresh soap? That is a waste of money. They just want to save their hands and not scrub properly.\"\n\nSo, he would run out and knock a bucket of soapy water over. The whole kitchen would get very wet. Someone was building a new house, so he hurried to the window to look.\n\nThere, they are using that red sandstone again that never dries,\" he cried. \"No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it.\"\n\nHe sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again. He unfastened his leather apron and cried, \"I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences.\" He stumbled on the carpenters. \"What is this?\" cried he. \"You are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight? One wrong will put all wrong.\n\nHe grabbed a big axe from a carpenter. He wanted to show the man how to chop wood. But then, a cart full of clay drove by. He threw the axe down and ran to the farmer walking beside it. \"You are not thinking straight,\" he said. \"Why are you making young horses pull such a heavy load? The poor animals will get hurt.\"\n\nThe farmer did not say a word. Pfriem was very angry. He ran back to his workshop. He started to work again. The apprentice brought him a shoe. \"What is this?\" he screamed. \"I told you not to make shoes so wide. Who would buy a shoe that is just a sole? I want you to follow my orders exactly.\n\nMaster,\" said the apprentice, \"you might be right about the shoe being a bad one. But you made it yourself, and you were the one who knocked it off the table. I just picked it up. An angel from heaven would never make you believe that.\n\nOne night, Master Pfriem dreamed he was dead and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. 'I wonder,' he said to himself, 'why they have no knocker on the door. One knocks one's knuckles sore.'\n\nThe Apostle Peter opened the door and wanted to see who was making such a loud noise.\n\nAh, it's you, Master Prick,\" said he. \"Well, I will let you in, but I warn you to stop finding fault with everything you see. If you don't, you might be very unhappy. You didn't need to warn me,\" answered Prick. \"I already know how to behave. Here, thank goodness, everything is perfect. There is nothing to complain about, just like there is down on earth.\" So he went inside and walked up and down the wide, bright spaces of heaven. He looked all around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes he shook his head or muttered to himself. Then he saw two angels carrying a heavy beam. It was the very beam that someone had had in his own eye while he was looking for a tiny splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam straight, but at an angle.\n\nDid anyone ever see such a silly thing?\" thought Master Pfriem. But he stayed quiet and seemed happy with it. It really does not matter how they carry the beam, straight or sideways, as long as they get along and do not bump into anything. Soon after, he saw two angels drawing water from a well. But the bucket had holes in it, and the water was running out on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. \"Oh my!\" he exclaimed, but then he remembered himself. He thought, maybe they are just playing a game.\n\nIf they are just playing, then they can do silly things here in heaven. I have noticed that people do nothing but rest and relax. He walked a little farther and saw a cart stuck deep in a hole. It is no surprise, he said to the man standing there. Who would put so much weight on it? What do you have in the cart? Good wishes, the man replied. I could not get on the right path with them, but I have pushed them safely up here. Here, they will not leave me stuck. An angel did come and harnessed two horses to it. That is quite right, thought Pfriem, but two horses will not get that cart out. It needs at least four horses to pull it. Another angel came and brought two more horses. She did not put them in front, however. She put them behind.\n\nThat was too much for Master Pfriem. He burst out, \"What are you doing there?\" He asked, \"Has anyone ever seen a cart pulled like that?\" Then he said, \"You think you know everything best.\" He was going to say more, but a kind angel grabbed him by the throat. She pushed him out with a gentle, strong hand. Master Pfriem looked back at the cart. He saw four winged horses lifting it into the sky. At that moment, Master Pfriem woke up. He thought to himself, \"Things are certainly arranged in heaven differently than on earth. That explains a lot. But who can watch horses harnessed both behind and in front with patience?\n\nI know they have wings, but who can really tell? Besides, it is silly to put wings on a horse that already has four legs to run with. But I must get up, or they will make mistakes in my house. It is a good thing, though, that I am not really gone.",
"child_friendly_chunks": [
"Master Pfriem was a short and thin man, but he was full of energy. He never stopped moving. His face was very pale, and he had a big, turned-up nose. His hair was gray and messy. His eyes were small, but he looked around everywhere. He saw everything and knew everything best. He was always right. When he walked down the street, he waved his arms like he was rowing a boat. One day, he hit a girl's pail so hard that water splashed all over him. \"You silly goose!\" he cried. He shook himself dry. \"Could you not see that I was coming behind you?",
"By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread so hard that he pushed his fist at anyone who got too close. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he always found something wrong with the best work. Sometimes he said the stitches were not even, or that one shoe was too long, or that one heel was higher than the other. \"Wait,\" he said to his apprentice. \"I will show you how we make the leather soft.\" He took a strap and gave him a few light taps on the back. He called everyone lazy. He himself did not make much work, for he never sat still for even a short time.",
"If his wife got up very early and lit the fire, he jumped out of bed. He ran barefoot into the kitchen, crying, \"Will you burn my house down for me? That is a big, hot fire! Does wood cost nothing?\"\n\nIf the servants were standing by their tubs and laughing, he scolded them. He said, \"Look at the geese cackling. They are forgetting their work to gossip. And why fresh soap? That is a waste of money. They just want to save their hands and not scrub properly.\"\n\nSo, he would run out and knock a bucket of soapy water over. The whole kitchen would get very wet. Someone was building a new house, so he hurried to the window to look.",
"There, they are using that red sandstone again that never dries,\" he cried. \"No one will ever be healthy in that house. And just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones. Besides, the mortar is good for nothing. It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it.\"\n\nHe sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again. He unfastened his leather apron and cried, \"I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences.\" He stumbled on the carpenters. \"What is this?\" cried he. \"You are not working by the line. Do you expect the beams to be straight? One wrong will put all wrong.",
"He grabbed a big axe from a carpenter. He wanted to show the man how to chop wood. But then, a cart full of clay drove by. He threw the axe down and ran to the farmer walking beside it. \"You are not thinking straight,\" he said. \"Why are you making young horses pull such a heavy load? The poor animals will get hurt.\"\n\nThe farmer did not say a word. Pfriem was very angry. He ran back to his workshop. He started to work again. The apprentice brought him a shoe. \"What is this?\" he screamed. \"I told you not to make shoes so wide. Who would buy a shoe that is just a sole? I want you to follow my orders exactly.",
"Master,\" said the apprentice, \"you might be right about the shoe being a bad one. But you made it yourself, and you were the one who knocked it off the table. I just picked it up. An angel from heaven would never make you believe that.\n\nOne night, Master Pfriem dreamed he was dead and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. 'I wonder,' he said to himself, 'why they have no knocker on the door. One knocks one's knuckles sore.'\n\nThe Apostle Peter opened the door and wanted to see who was making such a loud noise.",
"Ah, it's you, Master Prick,\" said he. \"Well, I will let you in, but I warn you to stop finding fault with everything you see. If you don't, you might be very unhappy. You didn't need to warn me,\" answered Prick. \"I already know how to behave. Here, thank goodness, everything is perfect. There is nothing to complain about, just like there is down on earth.\" So he went inside and walked up and down the wide, bright spaces of heaven. He looked all around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes he shook his head or muttered to himself. Then he saw two angels carrying a heavy beam. It was the very beam that someone had had in his own eye while he was looking for a tiny splinter in the eye of another. They did not carry the beam straight, but at an angle.",
"Did anyone ever see such a silly thing?\" thought Master Pfriem. But he stayed quiet and seemed happy with it. It really does not matter how they carry the beam, straight or sideways, as long as they get along and do not bump into anything. Soon after, he saw two angels drawing water from a well. But the bucket had holes in it, and the water was running out on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. \"Oh my!\" he exclaimed, but then he remembered himself. He thought, maybe they are just playing a game.",
"If they are just playing, then they can do silly things here in heaven. I have noticed that people do nothing but rest and relax. He walked a little farther and saw a cart stuck deep in a hole. It is no surprise, he said to the man standing there. Who would put so much weight on it? What do you have in the cart? Good wishes, the man replied. I could not get on the right path with them, but I have pushed them safely up here. Here, they will not leave me stuck. An angel did come and harnessed two horses to it. That is quite right, thought Pfriem, but two horses will not get that cart out. It needs at least four horses to pull it. Another angel came and brought two more horses. She did not put them in front, however. She put them behind.",
"That was too much for Master Pfriem. He burst out, \"What are you doing there?\" He asked, \"Has anyone ever seen a cart pulled like that?\" Then he said, \"You think you know everything best.\" He was going to say more, but a kind angel grabbed him by the throat. She pushed him out with a gentle, strong hand. Master Pfriem looked back at the cart. He saw four winged horses lifting it into the sky. At that moment, Master Pfriem woke up. He thought to himself, \"Things are certainly arranged in heaven differently than on earth. That explains a lot. But who can watch horses harnessed both behind and in front with patience?",
"I know they have wings, but who can really tell? Besides, it is silly to put wings on a horse that already has four legs to run with. But I must get up, or they will make mistakes in my house. It is a good thing, though, that I am not really gone."
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